The Wenches are not from the PNW, having both grown up on the east coast. We moved here four years ago. When someone emailed us this Jeff Foxworthy routine we thought it a great opportunity to see just how well we've adapted to our new home. Our comments are in italics.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM THE PACFIC NORTHWEST IF:
1. You know the state flower (Mildew)
Silly me, I thought it was Mold.
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
We are nothing short of passionate about recycling here. Recycling paper, plastic, glass, etc. is already mandatory here. Starting in Jan. 2009 Seattleites will be required to compost all food scraps in our yard waste recycling bins. Think we're a bit fanatical about our recycling? Have you people seen The Garbage Patch? Seriously, get with the program.
3. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
Even if we don't drink it, we all speak coffee. It's a very unique language.
4. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
We see lots and lots of boats but we hang out with the "wrong" crowd apparently. All the people we know own bikes not boats!
5. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
A suit just doesn't go with Viking rain gear and hiking boots.
6. You consider that if it has no snow or has not recently erupted, it is not a real mountain.
Well, duh! Like you could get to the top of a real mountain in a car! The only way to get to the top of a real mountain is on foot and with the help of lots of climbing gear.
7. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho and Sockeye salmon.
Also known as King, silver and red. And don't forget Chum (dog) and Pink (humpy).
8. You know how to pronounce Sequim, Puyallup, Issaquah, Oregon, Yakima and Willamette.
Okay, not at first. But we learned fast! skwim, pyoo-AL-up, IZ-a-kwah, ORE-e-g'n (does not rhyme with 'gone'), YACK-uh-mah, wil-LAM-met
9. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese and Thai food.
Hey, don't forget Vietnamese. Phô is amazing!
10. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark - while only working eight-hour days.
We have little flashing disco ball lights hanging from our backpacks, rain jackets AND the dog--all to help make us more visible. Hey but in summer the skies start lightening at 4 a.m. and it's still light out close to 10 p.m.
11. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
There's a commercial here about this--Blue Tarp Camper.
12. You are not fazed by "Today's forecast: showers followed by rain," and "Tomorrow's forecast: rain followed by showers."
Sounds like tomorrow the weather is going to improve!
13. You cannot wait for a day with "showers and sun breaks."
Woo hoo! A really nice day! Sun breaks are our best friends. You learn to drop EVERYTHING and run outside to load up on vitamin D--never know when you'll see that bright shiny orb again.
14. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
One and the same, no?
15. You know that Boring is a town in Oregon and not just a state of mind.
Yeah, it's south of Portland. But I still prefer Concrete here in WA. It's a philosophical concept, a musical style, a form of poetry AND a type of frozen custard.
16. You can point to at least two volcanoes, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
Come on, there are lots more than two! And they actually spew out stuff!
17. You notice, "the mountain is out" when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
We are obsessed with "the mountain". Mt. Rainier is truly spectacular when it is out. This is a REAL mountain--can't drive to the top. it's 14,410ft or 4,392m, covered in glaciers all year round, takes experienced climbers 2-3 days to summit, and can easily kill you if you don't know what you are doing.
18. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 50, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
Oh please! We lived in MN, WI and IA. We'll wear shorts until it gets down into the 30s. Seattleites are a bit wimpy about the cold.
19. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 60, but keep the socks on.
There's a commercial about this too--Sandals and Socks Guy.
20. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
It's just water! It's not like you're going to melt. Besides, using umbrellas with the winds we get here is truly a menace to fellow pedestrians.
21. You knew immediately that the view out of Frasier's window was fake.
Wasn't much of a fan. But Fraser was way too uptight to be a real Seattleite.
22. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
We bought a raincoat for our dog.
23. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer), Deer & Elk season (Fall).
Spring = not that much rain
Summer = July = no rain
Fall = some rain
Winter = rain--of biblical proportions--and wind and flooding and mud slides and ark building
--Curmudgeon & Wing Nut